


Shards

by EvaLilith



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Champions of the Just, Found Family, Here Lies the Abyss, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Spoilers, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvaLilith/pseuds/EvaLilith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Self-indulgent Inquisitor meta/Inquisition drabbles/AU musings. Basically anything not narrative or finished enough to post on its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meetings

Lethe Cadash refuses to be as picky as some of her advisors would prefer. She’s spent her life in the Carta, rubbing elbows with all kinds, and she knows there’s good and bad to be found amongst any type of people. Humans, elves, dwarves, or even qunari; apostates and templars, low class and high. She has little use for Chantry rhetoric, though she’s willing to believe that the Maker exists, and perhaps even that she herself was touched by Andraste. After all, the Fade clearly exists, even though she, as a dwarf, has never experienced it - except for whatever had happened before she fell out of that rift at the temple, and she can’t remember that. At the least, the belief seems to help many of them greatly - Cassandra and Cullen and even Varric - so she’s hardly going to say that they shouldn’t believe. Like Varric, she doesn’t have much interest in the Stone, either. Metals are one thing, but the earth itself doesn’t sing to her. Let people believe what they like.

After all, it doesn’t really matter if Andraste sent her or not, does it? It doesn’t change what she has to do to close the rift.  
She understands their reservations about the Iron Bull, but she trusts her own instincts on this one. Just because he had his own agenda didn’t mean he couldn’t be trusted to help theirs - wasn’t this what they wanted when they muttered about the Chantry or the templars getting their heads out of their asses long enough to help with the Breach? And he is... well. It is possible he was trained in deception that thoroughly, since he’s a Ben Hassrath, but she can usually find the false notes. Constantly sifting through contraband buyers and sellers to detect which might be trying to cheat them and which might be planted by local city watches tended to cultivate that in a person. It isn’t just him, either. His honesty and reliability run through all of the Chargers that she meets, especially Krem. Fortunately, they are also all friendly, and quickly earn the grudging acceptance of the entire Inquisition. 

But the more devout amongst her companions and the Inquisition at large are so jumpy about magic. She supposes she would be more nervous, too, if regular lyrium could drive her mad and demons could tempt her while she slept, but judging by fear first, shunning all but known safety, was no way to develop an organization. She’s seen little gangs with little leaders go down many times to the same mistake. If you spend so much time clutching what you have that you never expand, eventually the enemy will have grown so strong that you won’t even be able to protect what was already yours.

She hadn’t asked to be the one calling the shots for a group that most knew only as relic of history, but since she is, she isn’t about to let the world end because some of them jump at magic.

Granted, Cole is not really just “magic”. Even Solas doesn’t seem entirely sure what he is, though the consensus definitely seems to be that he’s something from the Fade. And he does tend to induce jumping no matter how you feel about magic, with his sudden appearances and disappearances. 

But he had helped her through the awful future that played through her head. He had helped cast out the Envy demon, and then helped kill it. He had followed her in order to help more people. 

Cassandra might be right in that his intent might not always match up with the results. But isn’t that true of everyone? He had proved himself, she tells them. He deserves the chance. 

And if she ever worries that her own judgement may be off, she looks to Varric. He’s properly Andrastian, enough to worry about things she might not - but he’s also another Marcher, another surface dwarf, another person who has seen more than his fair share of shitty people fitting every imaginable description, and good ones, too. Who’s able to see the world in greys instead of just blacks and whites and whose sleep isn’t haunted by the Fade.

He likes Bull, and he likes Cole. Leliana will let them know if Bull ever tries to do something he shouldn’t, he says, but the Qunari are a practical people and it really is in everyone’s interest to close the Breach. And you don’t get that kind of reputation as mercenaries - or that kind of loyalty in a company - if all you do is stab people in the back.

Bull rumbles that he slices people, not stabs them, and it’s more fun from the front, when they’ve got a chance.

(Cole mumbles that it isn’t meant, that he wouldn’t slice them, ghastly green glow stealing sleep, the demons will take his mind and drag him to the Seheron he sees at night, worse than it was. Why does he charge toward what he wants to run from?)

Bull growls a little, but Varric holds up a hand. “It’s not the kid’s fault. I’d probably say a lot worse things out loud if I could hear people’s thoughts. Anyway, we’ve all seen you around rifts. Not exactly a secret that demons aren’t your favorite.”

Bull grumbles and settles back in his seat again. 

“Are you scared of me?” Cole asks, abruptly.

“What?”

“I help, and Solas says I’m a spirit, but the others say I’m a demon. Do you think I’ll do those things to your mind, too?”

Bull stares at his drink for a moment. “...nah. You were in the Boss’ head with that Envy thing, right? But doing the opposite. I figure that means you’re okay. Like Varric said, you just haveta sort out what’s okay to say when other people are around.”

“I’ll do better. I could-”  
“No!”

It comes from all three mouths at once, and Cole flinches.

Varric’s the first to sigh. “Listen, kid. It’s okay to be awkward. We don’t always do things right the first time, either.” He laughs. “Or even usually.”

(The red rends home, rends the hawk, scatters them like beads from a broken chain, and it stains your hands-)

“The point is, when it’s something like this, just talking? You’ve got plenty of chances. You don’t have to make us think it’s the first time through.”

“We want to remember you, Cole,” Lethe adds gently. “And I think it’d be better not to mess with something in Bull’s mind to make him feel better about you not messing with something in his mind.”

Cole blinks. “...oh.” He chews his lip. “Each erasure is an error on its own. It doesn’t help?”

“Not in the long run, kid. Even the things that hurt to remember might be important to us. You said... it hurt, when you found out what you were, right?”

Cole curls in on himself and nods.

“Would you want to forget that?”

He looks up sharply enough that the hat slides back further on his head, enough to see eyes open wide and staring between strands of hair. “No! It’s very important that I remember- what I am. What I did. And that Rhys and Evangeline remember, too.”

“See?”

He nods slowly. “...all right.”

Which is all to say that regardless of how they feel about it, no one in the Inquisition should be surprised at the split-second decision she makes about the exhausted Tevinter on their doorstep.

After all, it’s clear that the other mages, at least, consider him to be on the side of the Inquisition, given that he’s battling with their advance guard when she opens the door. Cullen holds him up as he explains the force coming over the mountain is mages - and as he points to give them their first real look at Corypheus.

She waves him inside even as she calls for Bull and Varric and Vivienne to help with the trebuchets. He’s far too exhausted to try to fight alongside them for this battle.

No one even has time to argue about it until much later, and by then he’s helped Roderick show them the passage for the summer pilgrimage and watched over him until he passed. No one in the Inquisition was overly fond of the man, but he’d been brave, at the end, and the mage had no reason but kindness to stay with him. There are even whispers that he’d mouthed the words of Mother Giselle’s hymn, though they question how a Tevinter would know the song.

She doesn’t go looking for him specifically, when she finally does speak with him. She’s simply trying to get a picture in her mind of what Skyhold is, and can be. As she reaches the top of the stairs that lead to the library, she can hear him muttering to himself as he examines the books.

He notices when she approaches. “Brilliant, isn’t it? One moment, you’re trying to restore order in a world gone mad. That should be enough for anyone to handle, yes? Then, out of nowhere, an archdemon appears and kicks you in the head. ‘What? You thought this would be easy?’ ‘No, I was just hoping you wouldn’t crush our village like an anthill.’ ‘Sorry about that! Archdemons like to crush, you know. Can’t be helped.’”

He finally turns to face her. “I suppose a proper introduction is called for, now that we’re not running for our lives.” She smiles, and he gives her a bow. “Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of the Tevinter Imperium.” 

She returns the bow. “Lethe Cadash. I suppose you know my other titles.”

“Yes indeed,” he replies, a spark of approval and amusement lighting in his eyes. “Including the new one. Congratulations on that, by the way.”

She shrugs. “I almost wish I could avoid being at the front of everything. But it doesn’t look like that’s happening any time soon.”

“I shouldn’t think so. After your show at Haven, Corypheus has all the more reason to hate you personally.” He makes a face as the name leaves his mouth. “And I expect the rest of the Venatori will be all too eager to win his favor by trying to bring him your head on a platter.”

“The Venatori?”

“Ah, yes, I didn’t get much time to explain that, either, did I? They’re a rather sordid bunch of mages from Tevinter - mostly magisters, which is not the same thing - who’ve formed a sort of cult, convinced that Corypheus will become a new god for them.” He makes the face again. “Which, if his claims are true... might not be entirely out of the question.”

“Do you think he’s telling the truth? It seems... incredible that he could be one of the original Darkspawn, but...”

“But not just anyone can control an archdemon.” Dorian sighs heavily, frowning. “I... don’t know. In Tevinter, we’re taught that the stories your Chantry spreads are just that - stories. I always knew our version couldn’t be the whole truth, either, but I thought there was a kernel of it in there, somewhere. But now we have one of the very magisters who opened the Fade... a Darkspawn. The Blight, and all the destruction it’s caused - it was us after all.”

“You’re not personally responsible. It was those magisters, centuries ago.”

“That might make me feel better if one of those magisters wasn’t galavanting around Thedas with an archdemon - or if many of my countrymen weren’t supporting him.” He straightens up. “That’s why I’ll be staying. Someone from Tevinter has to stand against him.”  
She examines him. “How did you come to know about all of this, anyway?” 

He sighs. “I was in Redcliffe when the Venatori took control of your southern mages.”

“In Redcliffe? It can’t have been for a casual visit, with the rebellion still going on.”

“As a matter of fact, no. I’d received word that an old mentor of mine was there and working for the Venatori. He’d... tried to offer me an invitation to the cult, the last time we spoke. His son was... worried. Bad enough that he’d joined a cult, but Felix feared that the Venatori were up to something even worse than I’d suspected. It seems he was right. As for Alexius... the Venatori killed him once he’d outlived his usefulness.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

He gives her a slantwise smile. “He... wasn’t the man I studied under anymore. That Alexius would never have joined the Venatori in the first place.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t regret his death.”

“True. But I’d rather leave such thoughts until after I find out whether there’s anything in this place worth getting drunk on.”  
“If I haven’t found the wine cellar by the next time I see you, we can go look for it together. But it’ll have to come after I check on my spymaster.”

He blinks, visibly caught off balance. “That’s... it? You’re really just- fine, with letting me stay?”

“Didn’t you want me to be? You seemed pretty insistent.”

“Well, yes. But I didn’t think... Well. You know. I’m a ‘~mage from Tevinter~’. That... doesn’t worry you?”

Lethe shrugs. “You seem honest enough to me. I’m usually a pretty good judge of character. You were brave enough to come warn us and kind enough to stay with Archchancellor Roderick in his final moments, though you didn’t even know him.”

He’s baffled, now. “I... he apologized, at the end, you know. For resisting you so much. He... said he didn’t know what to make of you, couldn’t afford to believe if you weren’t who you were supposed to be. But when you fought to save Haven, he said he understood.” Dorian looks slightly embarrassed. “He was rambling quite a lot to stay awake, you see. Especially before you rejoined us.”

“We didn’t exactly get along, but I wish I’d been able to save him, too. He was trying to do what he thought was right.”  
“Quite so.” Dorian shifts. “Ah, but what if I’m some sort of spy?”

I don’t see what kind of plan would be helped by you ‘infiltrating’ our ranks. Corypheus clearly planned to put an end to us at Haven, so why would he bother to send in an agent? And in any case, our Spymaster is one floor above you, and has already proven herself effective at riding herd on a Ben Hasserath.”

He laughs. “Well, that makes me feel a little better. Though I’m still disappointed I didn’t get to pull out my counter-arguments. I had a very impassioned speech prepared for why you should allow me to stay and help the Inquisition.”

“I’m sure you’ll have other chances to give it. I have the final say in who stays and who goes, but that doesn’t mean everyone else will agree.”

“I should think not. That woman Cassandra means to kill me with her eyes.” He looks at Lethe, suddenly serious. “No one will thank me, whatever happens. No one will thank you, either. You know that, yes?”

“That’s not why I’m doing this.”

He beams. “I knew there was something clever about you. Go on and finish examining the place. I intend to have a closer look at these volumes - some are quite old, and possibly rare.”

Lethe nods. “Let me know if you find the wine cellar.”

“I shall send you a detailed report of the expedition,” he promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see Lethe Cadash's appearance [here](http://evaarts.tumblr.com/post/110287211760/inquisition-stuff-top-is-my-darling-lethe-cadash).


	2. Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the Abyss without a Warden.

She had only wanted to remember what happened, not relive it. But now Nightmare is bearing down on her again, closing fast. She can feel its presence on the back of her neck. 

Bad enough when the Divine had been the one with her - even if she herself isn’t Andrastian, she had admired the woman for her commitment to peace, and known how important she was. But now it’s her friends, friends dearer and closer than she’d ever had in the Carta, where she had mostly kept to herself, friends that have made her stop wishing she wasn’t in the middle of all this. Friends and something else, and Bull is terrified of demons anyway, terrified of losing his mind to them, and he’s here for her and they’re all going to-

“I’ll hold it off.” She’s been expecting to hear the words from any one of them, has already prepared to refuse- but she fumbles the response when she realizes that it’s Hawke who’s made the offer. 

“You can’t be serious,” Varric replies. “You know how that sort of thing ends, Hawke-”

“This isn’t even your fight,” Lethe breaks in. “We might still make it- and if anyone has to-”

She hears both Bull and Dorian draw in a breath to argue with her, but Hawke answers first. “No.” He smiles, gentle and tired. “The Tale of the Champion is over. Your story still needs its hero.” He pauses. “And its storyteller, too.”

Varric bristles. “I’m not big on self-sacrifice, but if you think for one Blighted second that I’m leaving you behind here, after everything-”

Even Lethe, who prides herself on the speed of her blades, barely sees Hawke move. His staff blurs, whipping around to catch Varric on the side of the head. The dwarf staggers, then falls. 

Hawke looks to Iron Bull. “If you would be so kind-” 

Bull nods once, face somber, and scoops up Varric. 

“Now, run. I don’t recommend looking back.” He turns to face the horror that is rapidly getting closer. “I hope your story has a better end, Inquisitor. Please take care of Varric.”

They run. 

 

The stagger through the portal, stumbling like first-time sailors returned to shore and finding that the ground no longer moves beneath their feet. The courtyard where the portal sits is full of Inquisition soldiers and tattered Wardens - she can’t delay closing it and risk Nightmare or even lesser demons coming through. She lifts her left hand and seals the rift.

She expects Varric to yell- to yell at her for leaving Hawke behind, to yell at Bull for agreeing to take him, to yell at all of them for pulling Hawke back into things in the first place.

Instead, apart from the groan he first utters as he comes around, reminding Bull that he has a dwarf tucked under his arm, he’s silent. When he looks around to orient himself, it doesn’t take him long to realize what’s happened. He goes stiff and expressionless as he regards the solid, mundane flagstones and walls and the empty space where the portal had been. He raises a hand to the bruise on his head and takes in the expressions on their faces, but his remains unreadable. After a long moment, he simply walks away.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

They’re all pretending that they just happen to be in the great hall, even though most of them don’t even enter it for the judgements.

Dorian is reading on the balcony, as though he’s decided that it offers a better view than the window in his nook; Bull has scandalized most of the idle onlookers into leaving by leaning against, and then scratching his itching horns on, one of the great statues of Andraste. The others are in various corners - even Sera, who never enters the keep proper at all, if she can help it; even Solas, pretending to be in the rotunda but more accurately loitering in the doorway.

Everyone has read The Tale of the Champion. And anyone who has read it knows how much Hawke meant to Varric. He’d finally trusted them enough, or felt the situation was bad enough, to bring Hawke into it, and now- 

Now, they could only hope Hawke was dead. Facing down Nightmare, death was better than any of the alternatives.

 

Cassandra, to everyone’s surprise (except perhaps Cole’s) is the first to approach him. She pulls up a chair next to him, staring into the flames along with him. “Tell me... about Hawke.”

Varric makes a noise that might be a laugh or a sob. “Haven’t we already been over this, Seeker?”

“No,” Cassandra says quietly. “Not that. I know what lead up to the events in Kirkwall. But I do not know Hawke. Tell me about... the parts that were not “important” enough to make it into your tale. The nights in the Hanged Man. Handling thugs who did not know Hawke’s name yet.” 

“Would you even believe it? I always lie, don’t I, Seeker?” 

“I believe... I believe that even if the events in your tales did not always happen, the emotions did. I think this will be the same.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'd be the implied character death in the tags. I had Stroud in my game, but I think whatever Warden I had with me I would have chosen them to stay behind and saved Hawke. Hawke needs a break. 
> 
> There's nothing in the above to indicate an appearance other than default Hawke, but if you want to know what my Tassin Hawke looks like, here are a few images: [one](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-8FnWeSaB5IOVBUVVE0Q1lKVmc/view?usp=sharing) [two](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-8FnWeSaB5IQmZaRU5fU0xiVDA/view?usp=sharing) [three](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-8FnWeSaB5ISFhCR2tDbDY3OWc/view?usp=sharing)


End file.
